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Beginner's Guide: Bondage

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1: Safety first. If you are not in a sober state of mind or in a healthy place in your relationship - don't play. (This includes drugs and excessive amounts of alcohol) 

2: Safety second too. Agree upon, and practice, a "safeword" before you begin. This might seem odd to new couples, but it will allow both partners to safely explore their limits and boundaries. Try words that are easy to remember like:

Yellow: for getting close to my limits

Red: stop

2: Choose your restraint and make sure the fit is snug for play time. (eg: rope, cuffs, harness, scarf etc). A snug fit means that the submissive partner (generally referred to as a sub) cant escape easily. However they can remain comfortably restrained for 15-20 minutes as a start point. This will increase as your experience does. 

3: Learn basic pulse sites of the body and always fit bondage snugly, not tightly, until you have more experience. Never cross pulse points with direct pressure from ropes. Pulse points are located on the wrists, inner-upper thigh and throat. 

4: Determine how long each bondage can be endured and watch the clock. Begin testing new bondages for around 10 minutes at a time before working up to longer periods 

5: If possible, start with a quick release clasp pair of cuffs. Alternatively, scissors work well to cut off a scarf after play time.

6: Put away your bondage accessories as soon as possible after you have removed them. This will begin to condition your submissive to have a Pavlovian type response when he / she sees them.

7:  Dom: Do not leave your submissive unattended when bound.

8: Dom: it is your responsibility to bring your sub safely down from the *subspace high they will feel during play time. 

9: Aftercare: This may include lotion for chaffed skin, extra attention, tickles, cuddles, ice, water, cookies... basically anything your partner may need to feel safe. 

10: Remember, less is always more with alternative forms of bedroom play / BDSM... Rather leave your partner wishing they had gone a little further (in their mind) than regretting that they did (physically).

 

More on the elusive *subspace zone in my next How-To Blog..

BDSM Blog Bondage Handcuffs How To Restraints Rope Talullah Suede

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